What would the white-winged dove do? Let's start with a list of things he probably wouldn't do:
(1) Watch interleague baseball games.
(2) List the same pair of sneakers three times on eBay.
(3) Design a custom bathroom with jack-and-jill sinks (lame!).
(4) Drink too many sake bombers on a Sunday night and feel wobbly all day Monday.
(5) Make homemade macaroni and cheese with Gruyere.
Things he would do:
(1) Eat lots of birdseed.
(2) Shit everywhere.
(3) Come very close to sitting on a sharp potted cactus.
(4) Make a cute birdie noise.
(5) Fly into the sliding glass door.
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